I Hope I Do Not Have To Have A Funeral For My Blog

I have three blogs. This one, one about my dog, and my most busy one and most important because I started my own company and need it my blog named Mismatched Bookends. I just went on to blog something and it said "1 blog deleted" So I am on the help page waiting for an answer. Why do they make us when we are upset most likely look up our own answers to our problems on the computer. Surely they have to take into account that some of us do not know what we are doing beyond sending an email. I am very upset that this has happened and on the worst day. I had so much to do for my tour companies. So I ask WHY? I have been a very good girl. I just had my birthday and a nice party. Was not feeling well when I woke up but started feeling better. I just want to crawl under the blankets now. I think I have a legitimate "WHY" here, don't you?

Poem

(from Peace Be With You Blog)

our reality
two seriously ill at home
a challenging time

a case of two halves
equaling less than a whole
life gets difficult

alternating both
care giving and receiving
we struggle badly

so we roll along
finding some joy where we can
not letting pain rule

but now my dear friends
I take a leave of absence
until stress lightens


This is what it is like to have MS and live with your spouse. I had to share it because it hits so close to home. Why me?

Sad Lisa by Cat Stevens

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOvwUgQtJyM

 I hope you like this song as much as I did. I have to thank a friend for posting it.

My why for right now is why do some songs make you cry? For everyone it is different. I am not a crier, but certain song just turn me into a sniveling mess. Sometimes I do not even know the lyrics, just the tone of the song makes me cry.

It is not a profound why but that is what I have to say.

Why Do People Steal Ideas?

I am sure this has happened to you. Maybe at work. Maybe at home. You had a great idea and made the mistake of telling someone. The same someone that would put a knife in your back and tell someone it was their idea. Then you find out and what do you say? Who is going to believe you?

Now imagine this happens in the blog world. Then who is going to believe you. If you have had your blog up long enough, people should know you. But they may know the other person too and that may leave them to wonder who is really telling the truth.

I have three blogs. My book blog happened to turn out to be my baby (http://Mismatchedbookends.Blogspot.com) and I saw someone taking my ideas today. Someone who I have had a run in with recently. I have paid attention to her blog but not enough to notice if this is the first time but from what I remember, this is the first time and she took my ideas. I have one girl who, if she is reading this will  say it is karma because she erroneously believe I stole her idea to start a book blog in the first place.

Well all I have to say is after the run in with this person I asked myself why did she think it was okay to post about this and, although she did not mention my name she knew I would see this post and she was wrong. Now if she is going to take my ideas I want to know why? She already wished on me the volume of people she has on her blog so if she cannot handle it, that is not my problem. Then my question to her would be why do you even have a blog when you do not answer comments and take other people's ideas.

Why?

Why Do We Fight?

All we do is fight anymore. And it is not even about the big stuff. I want to say it is his fault, but I know it is mine. And I cannot deal with the feelings.

I grew up very sheltered and there are things I just do not know. I am not trying to use that as an excuse but you cannot teach people some things. They have to learn.

I am exhausted from fighting. I know one of these days it will be the last fight and then my world will crumble.

I hope I have guidance from somewhere in 2014 and am able to fix what is broken. Because I cannot stand it anymore and I know he can't either.

Why do we fight? It ruins a nice day. Like it did today. But I have my escape and so does he. We need to be closer and talk more. We never go to bed angry though. That I learned from my mother and grandmother.

I don't want to fight anymore. I am tired. And I know he is too.

Broken Pieces of Glass

I just read the best quote, though who said it was not posted.

"A girl once told me to be careful when trying to fix a broken person for you may cut yourself on their shattered pieces"

Wow...

Why does this hit so hard?

Because all I do is help people in need. And all I do is get cut. Remember my favorite expression that I get kicked in the teeth all the time? I am referring to people I want to fix. I feel I can be their friend and help them. Like a baby bird that has fallen out of its nest, I want to help all of the baby birds to get better. But in the process, I wind up hurting myself, and sometimes the bird.

It is so hard when you have someone over your house, and you hang out, and share secrets, then they put the screws to you and blame you. My husband and protector usually calls these so called friends and wants answers that they, as liars and connivers mooch their way out of. But my husband, with his Law Enforcement background, knows a pile of you know what when he hears it and calls them on it and they have no more wall to back up against. Then the next thing is I get an angry call from former friend saying "Thanks a lot for having your husband call me!" click. He is my protector. Why shouldn't he try to figure things out. And protect me. He knows I have gone through so many friends. He can tell right away when he meets a new friend that they are no good. I tell him he is wrong this time. But he never is wrong. And he warns me but I think I am getting along so well with someone and then BAM! It happens again. In real life, and on the computer.

Imagine everyone you have ever met liking you. Calling you nice. Telling you that you are a reflection of your mother. And everyone loves my mother. I have never heard a single bad word about her. But imagine that and then imagine someone making up a lie, like I did not call them when they eloped to wish them a Happy Wedding. When the real story was the boyfriend did not want me around. I do not know why. I only met him once! What did I do that was so bad? He erased my wedding wishes from the machine I just know it. How do I tell my best friend of 9 years that? She is going to believe him because she is in love.

I am happy with the friends that have stuck around through good and bad. But I never hurt anyone. Ask my best friend since 5th grade. Ask my husband's friend's ex-wife, who I have been friends with a good 9 years now. Ask my neighbors. Ask my online friends. You will never hear that I was the bad guy. This I can say with 100% honesty.

And how about an internet friend who told me I was negative, and called me a bully. She wrote something so nasty she wrote back to me that her mother saw it and told her to apologize. But I AM wrong...me. First of all, with all the medical mess I have been through I am anything but negative. I want her to find one email where I was negative. If I was not positive I would not be here now and I am not kidding. Someone like her, believes she is living in a dystopian book. I know she has some real problems, but not compared to me. And this is not a who can outdo who. But she gets to go to work. Go out with her friends. Do you know what I would give up to be able to do that?! And she is still young and I understand that. Now I may let the being negative slide, but to call me a bully?! I can gather all of my good friends now and ask them first of all when I was ever negative, and second when I ever bullied anyone, knowing I was bullied in the past. She had no other words. The truth is it was her fault and she did not want to admit it so she threw the broken pieces of glass at me. They all had different words on them. And then she tries to blog about it like she is the hurt one.

No you are not. You are fine. I am not sure you even liked me. YOU are the one who described our relationship as "I feel like the fat girl who hangs around the popular cheerleader" Is that my fault? The site she brought me too, because I made so many friends so fast, is that my fault? I am bubbly and full of life. When I am not suffering I am the person you want to talk to and hang out with. I made so many friends and love them all. Some know about this discord. It is hard to keep under wraps when you have similar tastes, similar friends. I was gentle and did not say much more than I am saying here. But I am tired of being the whipping girl. She needs to come out of her shell and try to trust people. Yes it hurts when something goes wrong but you have to get back up on the horse. Everyone is not the same.

I want to put a brick wall up so my feelings do not come through. But it would not work. I would claw at it or find something sharp and chip it away piece by piece because I am a social creature. I just love to be happy and to make people happy. I have put my husband on hold for friends. That is how seriously I take my friendships.

So this all came from that one quote. I keep telling myself I let go of the friend. But I do miss her. I am sorry that she feels I hurt her but I never bullied her and always encouraged her. I am sorry to some of you reading this because you have heard me speak on this before. But I wanted it all out in the open.

So please, if you do not want to be my friend, spare me the pain later on and just tell me now. If I did something or said something you thought was nasty, tell me. I mean, what is a friendship without honesty.

I do miss talking to her and sharing with her everyday. But I have found other friends. I will be fine I always am.

Violence Again Women

I got a lot of views on my post for violence against women. It is horrible, how many animal cruelty commercials do we see? Why are the ad agencies not putting this money into showing the abuse and violence of women?

I told you I was on the receiving end of violence a few times but I wanted women to talk to me if they needed to. Not my current husband, but ex-boyfriends hit me once. ONCE. But like my mom said "He lays his hands on you once, and that is it". Did you know a husband can rape his wife? If the wife says no, it is considered rape. They mention that in their article.

I knew one author mentioned something on the 25th of November. I meant to look into it more and I found some answers.

I could not copy and paste the whole article but please read it here: (I am so sorry, I could not make this clickable. Please copy and paste it.)

http://www.forextv.com/forex-news-story/help-stop-violence-against-women-and-girls-united-nations-16-days-of-peace-unite

Here is an excerpt:

United Nations (UN) Women has started their 16 days of Activism to end violence against women and girls, from Nov 25 – Dec 10. We should accept nothing less than zero tolerance. Wear orange to end violence against women and girls. 1 in 3 women and girls will experience violence in their lifetime.

In 2008 UN Chief started his UNiTE to End Violence against Women campaign. UN Women, Say No – UniTE, launched in 2009, showcases the advocacy efforts and engages people from across the world, from all walks of life, online and on the ground.

[UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon is calling on people to wear the colour orange to mark the International Day to End Violence against Women on 25 November. It's also a chance to recommit to preventing and halting all forms of violence against women and girls, he noted. Mr. Ban is asking people to make a special effort and advocate for the cause for the next sixteen days, between 25 November and 10 December, Human Rights Day.]

I have to find them but there are many books out recounting tales of domestic horror by abuse. I am the type of the person that would pick up the phone first if I ever saw anything.

I want to volunteer where I can, donate, and participate. I want to do some more research but take a look here. I mean, all those dog commercials? I love dogs and animals but why are there a million of them on and nothing about preventing cruelty against women. I know I said this alread but really? Is a woman less important then a dog!? We need to bring this to the light. I hope you enjoy the article. Please share in the comments of if you need to talk privately, email me at Chocolatemint515@aol.com.

I will get more information for you. Let us try to do something here. Organize events in our town. Do a walk like they do for breast cancer. Anything. Please think about how lucky you are if you never had a man lay his hand on you. And if you are a on the receiving end of violence, I suggest you go to your local police station.