A Deviation in Plans

I do not like any deviation from my plans.

Where do I start?

I like to think I am spontaneous, but truth be known, I have to know what is going on. It throws me into a great state of anxiety when I do no know what is going on.

Friday, while at acupuncture, while I was nice and relaxed, a short story came to me. Since this was not a forced idea like the ones on my list, and it was a genuine spark of "That's IT!", I was in a rush to get home to start working on it.

My husband, while I was at acupuncture, had some errands to run of which he had 45 minutes to do them in. Plenty of time. I got in the car after acupuncture and I saw no bags. "What happened?" I asked him. He said he did this errand and that errand than one of his friends called and he pulled over to talk.

Goodbye nice relaxing state from acupuncture.

So now, in deviation from the plan of going home and relaxing, we now had to go to Shop Rite. I only needed a notebook, some hair mousse, and some manila folders. "Why aren't we going to CVS?" I asked my husband. He said because the Aspirin and Alleive that I needed was cheaper at Shop Rite.

"Oh yeah" I said, secretly furious that we had to go to big huge Shop Rite instead of tiny little CVS.

And of course, like most trips to get one thing, we thought of 10 other things to get.

He had the cart and I did not. So, with a notebook and some tape in hand, (which was moved to aisle 12! The nerve. It was always in aisle 2, close to the door) already angry that I had to trapse across all of Shop Rite, I noticed my Greek yogurt was on sale. My husband I knew was right behind me so I grabbed 10 for whatever sale price was that the yogurts were. As I balanced 10 yogurts precariously on top of the notebook, I was having problems. I did not even look at the new Holiday coffee creamers that were being put out yet.

So there I stood, fuming, in the dairy section of Shop Rite. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, and then I started walking with great quickness and fever, looking down aisles, with the yogurts about to fall at any second. Then I heard it.

"Where are you going?" I heard a voice call out from behind me.

I turn around. "To find you!" I say a little louder than necessary and throw the yogurt into the cart. Again, a little louder than necessary.

"Are we done?" I ask. He says yes. Then he counts my yogurts. In my fury, I forgot how to count and got 9 instead of the 10 for 10 deal. I told him to go grab anyone other one and lets go. The soothing effects of my acupuncture session weree long gone and the aggravation that would cause my later migraine setting in.

As we got up to the front, I forgot something this time. So I had to go all the way back to Aisle 12. And try to find something. Which they moved. I am livid at this point.

I grabbed the car keys from my husband after he opened the trunk and let him load the all of 5 bags we had. I sat in the front seat only thinking of the book I brought with me in case the acupuncturist was late. Plus the two books I grabbed from the mail, ones that I had won in a contest, to eager to wait until I got back home to open them at that later time.

We got home and I grabbed one grocery bag, and my books, and my water and held my hand out to my husband for they keys (another why is why he checks the mail first before letting me in the house. Because he thinks it is funny and it is really not. I think i may snap one day) and said that I just had my session and could not get the heavy bags. I opened the door, and started putting some things away, and went up the stairs to put my pajamas back on, hoping to relax and read and get my self settled down. More in a zen state of mind as my husband put the groceries away.

Then my husband announces he is off Saturday. I groan. He looks at me funny. That did not mean to be audible. "What is the problem?" he asks. I told him I had plans for the day. He told me his plans include 10 minutes of my time, (never happened-EVER) and he wanted to get up and get out the Christmas decorations. I told him he had to let me sleep or nothing would get done so do not wake me. Then he said he was not getting them out at 2pm. I shot back with the fact that it would not likely be 2pm, (I am a late sleeper) but why do they have to come out so early? He just needs me to grab the bins as he is in the crawlspace on his knees because you cannot just come in and out of there you need someone helping you as you shovel big boxes through the small barely there door. I told him I had a day planned out for myself already. I told him I always plan my day as if I had a job. And that I had things to do. We were both heated.

He comes up with a brilliant plan. "How about we take them out when I get home from work tonight (Friday)? Then you do not have to worry about getting up." How about you calm down Hurry Up Harry. Because there is nothing better I like to do at 10pm or more like 10:30pm at night than to take out very large tupperware containers from the crawlspace. That is my relaxing and reading or blogging time. Or maybe some cartoons on Adult Swim.

Now, I do not know who's side you are on, but I can tell you I know he knew he was off before the second he actually told me. Why he waits until the last minute I have no idea. I usually do not mind him having a long weekend, his normal days off being Sunday and Monday, but I like my me time. In less than month he will be home for 5 weeks straight. So I know I will get talked into all sorts of things that I will not be 100% enthusiastic about. Some good, some not so good. It is a thought that looms overhead everyday like a cloud that you are not sure if it is just passing through or you are actually going to get a downpour.

Why? Why does this happen every year? Decorating should be fun. And besides the arguing and flared tempers and remarks under our breath, we put Christmas music on and drown in what we have collected over the years. With barely even an inch of space for one extra decoration, we have to refer back to the pictures from last year. It may not be exact and we may decide to change things, but there is a pattern to follow. Again, why does this happen every year?

Because he is just like his father. Something pops into his head and he charges like a bull in a china shop. It gets done then or it does not get done at all. And it is not just the Christmas decorations. I will not start a list for time's sake.

He needs to settle down.

I need to bend a little. This I know. But so does he.

Either way, a deviation in plans is something I detest. I try to change my thinking but it is hard.

Saturday came and went with him taking Christmas decorations out of their containers and making a LOT of noise for 9am. I asked him for some coffee, and began reading on my Kindle for PC. MY PLANS. It was hard with the stomping around and banging and opening of rubbermaid lids. And the smaller and slightly less noisy boxes inside. But then there was beautiful silence.

The hours went like that. Silent. Deafening.

My husband came to me around 5:30ps, knowing I had not eaten since 10am. He asked me what I was up to and I grumbled a barely audible response.

I smelled him heating up something in the kitchen.

I did not care.

At 6:30pm I got some Greek yogurt. Blueberry my favorite. I ate it in the guest room which has become my little blogging office and reading room. I answered some mail. It was 8pm before I knew it. ( I had earmarked an hour for my plans).

I then asked a different why. Why I am so difficult at times? I always had a stubborn streak that only my family knows about. So I asked myself if my husband deserved to have me act this way and the answer was no. Why do I continue to? But why does he continue to do the things that irritate me? After 13 years of marriage, that is a why for the ages.

I came down at 9pm to help to start putting up decorations, which turned into some taking down of knick knacks that were up now, and dusting. And hanging decorations that could be hung, and other decorations that do not require dusting of anything. I worked for over an hour and did not realize it because I made sure I kept my temper in check and was quick to diffuse any potential words said between my husband and I that would ruin the good time we were having. We got some drawers cleaned out too. We threw a lot of things out. We made good use of our time.

Now later today, Sunday, the Giants game is on at 1p. That means we do noting but watch. It is our ritual. But that also means either at some ungodly hour when he pops up from bed he will begin to remove papers and things from surfaces and use Pledge, and use Windex on the windows more importantly in the front so the decorations show up nice, and those fumes will give me a migraine. No matter if he opens the windows or not. If it does not get done by him alone before 1pm, it will get done after the game. But I have a sneaking suspicion the fumes or some noise will wake me up. I suggested today that Sunday we continue our yearly ritual of playing Christmas music as we clean and decorate. We always start out with South Park Christmas. Twisted? You betcha! But then we move into soother, old time crooners and things are good. And we fall into having fun, finding decorations we thought we lost, talking about our tallest tree ever (8 feet, 2 inches - we have a cathedral ceiling), and when we are going to get our tree this year. we star making lists and checking them twice and get ready for the Christmas Specials. We have fun. And the house is beautiful as always. Something everywhere you look.

Why can't it always be like this?