Why Can't I Be Normal

I always thought I was normal. I look normal. But I am not.

No one that is normal feels the way I do. The pain that I am in is ridiculous.

No one sleeps for 20 hours a day.

Unless you have the medical problems I have.

But I chug along well for a long period of time and lull myself into a false sense of security. And normalcy. Then it all comes crashing down.

I was happily decorating for Christmas, for my husband to be off for five weeks starting this Friday, then BAM! Four days ago I am sleeping round the clock and can barely move.

Why?

What did I do?

I know I didn't do anything. And that is the worst part.

If I was a bad person, I may be able to ration it away and say "You deserve what you got". But I am a good person. Too good a person.

I keep telling myself God is going to show me my purpose. I thought it was this blog. Or my blog about my dog, or my blog about books. But how is it supposed to be that when I am too sick to write?

We are not supposed to question I know. But I want to know. And maybe someday I will....

Why?